Ermaline

Ermaline had been born into a life of wealth and prestige. Her father was the richest doll in the state of New York and her mother had been the daughter of a toy train tycoon. But alas, love, as it often does, set her on a course to destruction and destitution. She had fallen in love with a doll from the wrong side of the playpen: a ne’er-do-well by the name of Tyler “The Tool” O’Shea. Her family, having heard of his gambling, hard drinking and doll-chasing, forbade her from pursuing Tyler. But it was too late. While her family saw a delinquent, she saw a mate with the build of a GI Joe and the heart of a Care Bear. 


Despite her family cutting her off from their considerable fortune, Ermaline agreed to marry him. However, on the day of their wedding she was left at the altar while Tyler fled town in a Radio Flyer red wagon with a porcelain doll of ill-repute in tow. Ermaline was devastated. Her family refused to take her back. She was left friendless and homeless and can still be found today, her face made-up with Crayola markers, wandering the streets, selling sexual favors for buttons.

No Name

This little lad refuses to tell us his story, let alone his name.  We think he witnessed a crime, and consequently, his tongue was cut out to prevent him from snitching!

Bruno the Boneless Wonder Boy!

Step right up and see the miraculous "Bruno the Boneless Wonder Boy!" Born without bones! A scientific marvel of unparalleled proportions! Watch in horror and amazement as Bruno preforms feats no man with bones could ever complete! 


Bruno makes a living with his boneless wonder boy act in a traveling side show. He wasn't actually bone without bones. He used to be a normal boy with big dreams of growing up to be a country music star.  His friends, family and music teachers all told him that he didn't have a talent for music and that he should go into carpentry or auto body repair instead. Bruno refused to give up his dream. He practiced for hours and hours every day. His out of tune wailing infuriated his father so much that he was banned from practicing within his earshot. Bruno began practicing down at the river a few miles from home. Every day he went to the river and sang songs and prayed that someday he would be good enough to impress his father and the rest of the world with his musical talents. One afternoon, a man dressed in a sparking green suit with matching top hat and cape approached Bruno and confessed to him that he was a very powerful sorcerer and could make all his dreams come true. He offered to trade him a magical potion that would transform him into whatever his heart desired most. The price for the potion was all the bones in his body from the neck down. Without hesitation, Bruno enthusiastically agreed and the deal was done. 


Unfortunately for poor Bruno the sparkling green man was a fraud and the potion turned out to be nothing but pop rocks, chile powder and bacon bits. When his parents found him laying boneless by the river they sold him to the freak show and spent the profits on a 52 inch plasma tv. Bruno spends his days performing for his adoring fans and waiting for the magical potion to take affect. He knows in his heart it's only a matter of time...

Frank Green

Frank Green was Mitzi and Simone's first victim.  He met Mitzi at a bar and instantly fell for her.  He tried all night to impress her by buying her the most expensive champagne and "accidentally" leaving a copy of an ATM receipt on the table showing his very sizable checking account balance.  Mitzi accepted his invitation to his home for a nightcap and called Simone over to the house.  Together they tortured him until he gave them the combination to his safe and the pin number to his bank account.  After taking all his money and collection of ancient greek artifacts, they took him to the forest and left him bound to a tree.  The next morning Frank awoke to a bear eating his feet.  He was rescued by a passing hiker before the bear could move on to his legs.  


Frank now lives in a cardboard box behind the bar where he met Mitzi.  He spends his days waiting for her to come back so that he can exact his revenge upon her and her sister.  

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The Pasadena Slasher Sisters

These fiesty ladies are known on the streets as the Pasadena Slasher Sisters.  Mitzi and Simone turned to a life of crime after their father was imprisoned for embezzling 14 million dollars from the investment firm he worked for.  After the house and all of their possessions were repossessed, Mitzi and Simone were forced to fend for themselves. They quickly learned to use their charm and beauty to lure in young wealthy men, drain their bank accounts and leave them with their signature knife slash across the face.  

When they are not terrorizing men, Mitzi and Simone enjoy kicking over children's sand castles at the beach, jaywalking and tearing the tags off of mattresses.        

A Tisket a Tasket, Four Creepy Dolls in a Basket

From left to right:  Pandora Sue, Abby Gail 

(Winne Jane passed out drunk) and Ida Claire.

These lovely little Darlins are former débutantes from Charlotte, North Carolina. 


Pandora Sue was the Bell of the Ball and landed herself the town's most eligible bachelor, Antwan Allman.  Years later, he came out of the closet and ran off with a boy named Ken. 


Abby Gail married her incredibly wealthy cousin, Harold James Convington III and had adorable one-eyed twin boys.  But alas, motherhood  proved to be too much for Abby Gail, so she sold her children to the circus and ran off with Pandora Sue to start a new life with their childhood friends Ida Claire and Winne Jane.  


Winnie Jane was never really around, often drowning her sorrows in absinthe and lace.  Despite numerous interventions, Winnie’s conditions worsened and she now spends her days drinking, buying lace petticoats on eBay and watching reruns of Miami Vice.  


Ida Claire was never married.  She became a millionaire after inventing an extremely popular alternative to non-fat cheese.  She hoards straw hats and stacks them floor to ceiling in every room her mansion. Because of this strange hoarding obsession, the four ladies are forced to live in a basket. Ida Claire is obsessed with retaining her youth and spends a large portion of her riches on plastic surgery for herself and her best friends.  Now, all four ladies are addicted to plastic surgery  (their eyes don’t even close anymore). 

Tina. Boy Doll No More.

Tina grew up as a male doll in female dominated doll world. Formally known as Chuck, he grew up playing with trucks and matchbox cars. Little Chuck spent his days staring out the window of his room watching the girl dolls have tea parties and dress-up with their pretty hats and dresses. Chuck knew deep in his plastic heart he was meant to be one of the girls. 

Determined to be a girl, Chuck got a job driving delivery trucks for a major toy manufacturer and saved every cent. Three years ago Chuck made his dream come true when he hired a retired toymaker to perform a sex change operation and Tina was born. 

Tina now lives in Pasadena with her 4 cats and spends her days making the most delicious macaroons west of the Mississippi and planning tea parties for the local girls.

Tina. Boy Doll No More.